Are you still there?

Press one

‘I can’t figure out what to do with it, you know?’

The question was a stylistic resource, product of wanting to add a conversational gesture to the monologue. Something that would indicate to the listener that their opinion was being sought.
But it also provided the strategic pause for her to draw a long breath from her cigarrette, enjoying the high of the nicotine spreading though her blood stream, as her unwilling confidant prepared himself to interject.

The man on the other side of the line knew better. He could guess she was going to start talking again as soon as he made the slightest noise.
He was confident on this outcome, as it had happened three times already in the span of the phone-call. He silently watched the timer on his screen, long past the SLA golden standard for customer support calls.
He ventured a respectful cough, and she quickly took her queue to continue:

‘I didn’t break up with him, and technically he never broke up with me either. But he’s not going to come back, or at least his body isn’t.
I tried logging in once, just to see if it made any sense, but then he sent me that message.
I freaked the fuck out of the site…. Shit.
I said “he”, you must think I’m crazy humanizing it, or something. And I’m not.
I swear!
I guess I’m pissed off because he had mentioned wanting that watch back when we started dating, and now I have this stupid box in my appartment, and it never occurred to him to tell me “Hey Sam, by the way, I’ve digitzed my conciousness, and I’m finally going full-online next week. Oh and by the way, the version they’re uploading is a couple of months old, so please fill me in on the gaps about our relationship”.

So now I have to, what…? Break up with a fucking chatbot that isn’t even aware we were dating, and I can’t return the stupid watch I bought from you guys because your sites policy says the owner has to be the one starting the claim!’

She paused again, and the man heard the sound of objects clashing and being shuffled anxiously. He could picture her hand inside a too-small-for-it’s-content purse, looking for a lighter.
He mentally counted to seven, picturing the actions of oppening the box, one cigarrette between index and middle finger, while ring and pinky held the lighter on the palm. He heard the metallic “click” five seconds in. Two… One…

‘Ma’am, our company recognizes eternalized citizens as valuable customers, and if your boyfriend has now been digitalized, he has the option to contact our customer support portal and initiate the return process, or he can activate the code that is in the box to redeem a digital version of the watch you’ve purchased for him.
In any case, we hope we can be of help in the future, and because we understand the frustration you are going through, we are willing to offer you 10% off in the next purchase you make, or 20% if it’s a digital-only product.
Would you have time to answer some customer su-

Sam threw the phone agains the bed in a fit of rage, watching the small black rectangle bounce once before disappearing between the clothes sprawled on the floor.

–

“Hi Samantha, It’s Kevin. We spoke the other day in class, I asked you for notes on the first minutes I missed? I was wondering if you wanted to meet up at the library and study this weekend. I’m a bt anxious about bio-chem.” ^{(20yy/04/13 - 18:39)}

-you’re not real ^{(20yy/04/19 - 19:47)}
-that’s the first thing he texted me ^(19:49)
-god, im arguing w/a chatbot ^(19:49)
-#1349568B2, that’s the order number. Just call the shop, or whatever it is you do now, and say you’re returning the product. ^(23:18)

“Whoa, that thing is expensive! I don’t know why you’d get me a watch, lol. Is it because I was late for class?
I guess that’s a hard no on studying together?” ^{(20xx/04/20 - 00:07)}

“Hey, I reached out to the watch guys, they said you’ll get a refund in the next couple of days. Sorry if I said something weird.” ^{(20xx/04/22 - 09:12)}

“Did you change your number?” ^{(20xx/05/03 - 09:12)}
“Are you still there?” ^{(20xx/09/12 - 17:14)}